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A few years ago, I joined my college's
honor society and shortly after my induction, we participated in our
town's “Relay for Life” walk. I was still relatively new to the
group and hadn't had a chance to make any friends, so I brought Jay
along as a buffer for any social awkwardness.
We arrived early that cold morning and
walked up to register. After being pointed in the direction we needed
to go, Jeremy instinctively grabbed my hand as we weaved through the
walking path in search of my group's booth.
I spotted my old teacher first; he was
the advisor of our honor society and the only one I actually knew at
the time. We walked up and said our hellos, me introducing Jay as my
teacher shook the hand he wasn't holding.
It was then that he noticed our
clasped hands. He got that look...that look most people get when they
spot such an innocent display of affection. He got the attention of
another older member of the group and they started conspiratorially
commenting: 'young love, the honey moon phase, puppy love' with
fluttered eyelashes and exaggerated gestures.
Blushing, I told them of our then 6
year relationship, how we were well past the honeymoon stage. My
teacher reacted with a pleasantly surprised smile, commenting on how
he and his wife hadn't held hands in years, his joking partner
commenting the same. I just shrugged my shoulders, but I was a little
saddened by that.
When does that happen? At what point
do those little pieces of intimacy just stop?Relationships don't
fails due to lack of hand holding, but it's still a nice moment to
share. I remember a time when holding someone's hands was enough to
create butterflies and blushes and sweaty palms.
Even now at nine years, Jay and I
still holds hands, still kiss before coming and going, still say I
love you—with feeling—multiple times a day. By no means do the
excited jitters that once accompanied such actions still happen all
the time, but Jay's hand in mine still provides a connection I
cherish as our relationship continues to grow. Those little things
are a sense of comfort for me. If I am heading towards a situation
I'm unsure of, I can grab his hand and a sense of calm replaces all
anxiety. The simple touch letting me know that he's there, and he'll
be right there the entire time.
I'm not saying that Jay and I have a
perfect relationship because we still hold hands. Our relationship is
far from it and no amount of hand holding is going to solve all our
issues. But, what I'm trying to say is don't take those little
comforts for granted. Those things are important.
Go home tonight, or tomorrow, or right
now, and grab your partner's hand and just remember what it was like
that first time, when your relationship was new and such a simple
gesture told you all you needed to know in that moment. And then take
comfort in the fact that that hand is there when ever you need
something to hold on to.
Then take that comfort often.
