The Last of 2013

November has come to an end, and I have to say, it was a mixed bag of tricks. 

I completed NaNoWriMo--well, I surpassed 50,000 words. I still have two scenes to write. But it’s still a win in my book!

I was approved for a car loan but couldn’t actually find a car. My current vehicle is a spectacular piece of crap that created too much negative equity to have a payment anywhere near the realm of reasonable. Goodbye my beautiful SUV with two moon roofs. I can’t live in you, so I can’t see paying half my rent to take you home. 

I spent Thanksgiving seeing all my family and most of my friends. I pigged out on meatballs, ham, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie while still managing to lose three pounds. But, my fiancé’s grandmother is in a coma, so it wasn’t all happy reunions. 

It also snowed there, which was a nice change up from our rainy, dreary scenery. What a difference 2 hours makes when it comes to weather. 

I plan to make December an awesome last hoorah to the craziest year of my l life so far. I hope these next 31 days are the prep work for something great. 

Oh, and I got a tree. My first real one since my childhood at home. The scent of pine is bringing so much nostalgia with it, I feel like I should have pig tails and be sleeping on my Barney sheets. 

Happy December!! 

Follow me on Twitter: @Nikki_Writ

Cookie Failure

Today I attempted to make some cookies. Everyone knows that baking is just not my thing. Even no-bakes are a problem for me. 

But I decided maybe sugar cookies would be different. 

I mixed the sugar with the butter and the flour. I threw in some vanilla as per the very, very, foolproof recipe. 

“Mix the dough,” the recipe said. 

“I’m mixing the dough,” I said, “But, that shit isn’t working out.” 

No matter, I pushed through. I thought, maybe this is supposed to be a bit crumbly... 

Step three: roll the dough and cut into shapes. I rolled and rolled. The dough cracked, crumbled, and stuck to the pin no matter how much flour I used to prevent it. 

I got five cookies successfully circular before I said screw it and threw the rest of the dough out. 

The dough may have beaten my patience level, but I was going to make those five cookies.

Is that not the saddest sugar cookie you’ve ever seen?

After I had tried my creations--visually they were lack luster, but the taste wasn’t half bad--I questioned why in the hell I was trying to bake anyways. 

The answer: Procrastination.

I would rather bake horribly, shitty cookies than sit down and write. I was mid-bite through the second cookie when this epiphany hit me. instead of doing the dishes and finishing the laundry that I was also supposed to be doing, I got a cup of tea, went to my horribly messy office in my pajamas that I was still wearing at noon, and sat down to write. 

Vintage Santa mug--hell yes!

If I can let horrible cookie making take an hour out of my day, dammit, I can sit down and write something. 

And then I did.

NaNo Update: My novel has taken over my life. I really only allowed myself this post because I'm 2,000 words away from 50k. ONLY 2000 TO GO. Although the novel won't be finished at 50k; I'm feeling 60K. I fell off the writing wagon in week 2 by taking two days off, so I've been in constant catch up mode since. I had a goal of being finished before Thanksgiving, and I'm going to do it!  

What are your procrastination habits? Anybody else do things they’re intentionally bad at to waste time? How are your NaNos coming fellow writers?? 

Books of Influence

Since NaNoWrimo started on Friday, my creative well is focused on that. But writing and reading go hand-in-hand; so, as I endeavor to get to 50,000 words, I’ve also been reading like a mad woman. Look forward to book reviews come December. 

I like to read in the genre I’m writing in. Referencing other writers helps when I get stuck.

As I devour books in the YA genre to help with my own, I got to thinking about the books I’ve read in the past that really influenced me as a writer. 

So, every Sunday of November, I’m going to post an influential book that shaped my writing life. Up first:

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

I read this book in high school initially. It didn’t really leave any indelible mark on me, but then again anything I was forced to read in K-12 immediately made it onto the hate list out of principal.

It was my second run in with this book that really solidified it as my favorite book of all time. 

It was the first novel I ever analyzed critically and really the first glimpse of what goes on in books beyond the words on the page. I was reading with a concentration on what language was doing to Frankenstein’s monster and what other pieces of literature, such as Paradise Lost, was doing to the monster’s psyche, and I kind of fell in love with Shelley after that. Books became more than books. Reading became a challenge to see what they authors were really trying to get across on the page. And then of course, I wanted to be that kind of writer. I wanted to write the stuff that makes people think, question morals, all that good stuff. So now that this paragraph sounds like a poorly articulated love letter, I will leave it at: I just really really love this book. 

NaNoWrimo Update: I am over 5,000 words in. I don’t hate it yet, so that’s a plus. My inner editor is locked up and twitching in the corner over all my long winded exposition, tense shifts, that entire first page where I just threw convention to the wind and wrote in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person to try an feel out where I wanted to go. It’s been an interesting ride so far. 

What book influenced you?And if you’re NaNoing with me, how’s it going? 

Job Hunting

While I'm writing both creatively and freelancing, I'm also looking for a more permanent and stable paying job. 

I knew before deciding to major in English that job searching was not going to be the easiest thing in the world. But, I thought, 'hey, I went to a great school, got great grades, it won't be that bad.'

I was wrong. I've been out of school since June 21st. I've been jobless since June 21st. I've turned in over 100 applications. I was called back for one. That one…well, I completely bombed the phone interview. I was wholly unprepared for it and that particular job opportunity was part of my mass application front where I applied for anything and everything. I didn't exactly have award winning answers. It really wasn't any surprise when I didn't get it. Plus, I am so much better in person. Phone interviews suck. 

Moral of the story, English degrees are really, really unmarketable. It doesn't matter what school you went to, or your grades, it's all about luck for us. 

Thankfully, I've finally got an in on a job through a referral, so I am hoping beyond hope that this will be the one. 

I haven't seen people out in the wild in a very long time. I'm going stir crazy. I only talk to people I know over the phone or through text. Actual human interaction is strictly between my fiancé and I and a roommate we had briefly who has already moved out. 

I need to rejoin society before I lose my crackers. 

Writing and I

Currently reading this book suggested by an old teacher

Writing and I, me and writing. We have a strange relationship. I find it really hard to get started writing and even more difficult if I don't have a set deadline. The only time I've really excelled at the whole writing thing was when I was taking creative writing classes. 

When I had a paper due the next week, I could sit down and shoot out a short story in a couple days. I'd have numerous fully-formed stories floating around my head. 

Outside of class without the looming deadline breathing down my neck? I find it soooo hard just to get started. Sure, the numerous story lines are still rolling around in my head, but actually writing them down? Nope.

Even now, I should be writing in order to make a couple contest deadlines, but my writing confidence is hiding in a corner somewhere. I feel pressure to perform since all my writing friends are getting book deals, winning contests, doing author tours, and I'm here waving "hey, I published that story that one time a couple years ago." 

Pathetic. 

And I know I can do it. I know I have what it takes to write. I have all the time in the world to do it right now, too. I have no job, no school. I just have a lot of time that I spend doing everything but writing. 

I'm putting too much pressure on it. I know I am. There's no such thing as writer's block for me. It's just me not doing it.

Sorry for the third post in rant, but the frustration is weighing on me. Anyone else with writing troubles? How do you surpass them? 

It's Nano Time

As a creative writer, it's no surprise that I will be doing NanoWrimo again this year. 

I've attempted Nano every year since 2010, but I've only been successful that first year. Not that anything came of that novel. It was more of an experiment, and I am actually contemplating redoing the whole thing as a NA novel instead of YA. It doesn't work how it is now, but I truly love my characters and aging them might give them the freedom they really need to accomplish the vision I have for them. 

I think the reason for my failures the previous two years have been a combination of just not having adequate time to actually commit to writing and just a general lack of a support group. I never went to my regions write-ins, I generally didn't talk to other participants, so it always fizzled out. 

Not this year!

This year, I plan to fully immerse myself in the Nano experience. I am going to write-ins; hell, I'm even going to the kick-off party in my region this year. I'm all set with a Nano pen pal, and now I've found this Writers Unite Nano support group. 

For those here through the link-up, my name is Nichole, I am from the mitten state. I'm a recent college grad with a Bachelor in English. I am a full-time writer; I freelance, and I am compiling my writing portfolio to start applying for graduate school. 

As for my novel this year, I am expanding a short story I wrote for my creative writing class earlier this year. It's very loosely based on real-life events--more of a combination of stories I've heard or witnessed in my life. 

My Nano title and synopsis: 

Quiet Moments

Adeline and Skylar are two sisters who share a close relationship built out of necessity when their father left and their mother, Jen, turned to alcohol and a string of failed relationships. When Jen meets Paul, the girls ignore his aloof behavior because at least their mother seems happier. But Paul isn't just a little quiet and his anger soon breaks through and targets Skylar. Quiet Moments follows the sisters' relationship as one deals with abuse while the other can only stand by and watch.

Be my writing buddy on Nano: Eternal_Dreamer10

Happy Writing! 

Health and Blog Woes

Crayon art by yours truly 

I've had this blog for two or more years now and my consistency with postings is just plain embarrassing. 

The last time I was posting, I felt like I was in a good place. I was focusing on my writing, spreading the creative love so to speak, but I just ran out of juice. 

Things got really weird for me mentally and health wise. I thought I was going into some weird depression. With graduating, stroke recovery, and beginning the daunting job hunting task, I just shut down. And I've been in that shut down mode until recently. 

At the beginning of 2013, I had vowed to finally lose that extra weight I kept packing on, but couldn't seem to have any luck at it. In fact, since January, I've put on 30 pounds. In June, I thought, well this is ridiculous, I have no clothes, and my energy had disappeared. I thought everyone was looking at my new plumpness and assuming I was lazy, that I wasn't trying to do something about it. 

But I was. I tried juicing, cutting out carbs, working out every single day, cutting out sweets and fast-food.

Guess how much weight I lost???

….

….

….

Not a single damn pound. 

As a matter of fact, if I fudged my shoddy exercise routine or broke down and ate some M&Ms, I'd see it on the scale the next day. 

Something wasn't right. Not only was I not losing weight, but I couldn't sustain a basic exercise routine without feeling completely drained. I've always been a pretty active person. Maybe I haven't been in my peak physical condition for a couple years, but I can play sports, run, and seem endlessly energetic. Now, a fifteen minute walk on the treadmill kills me. 

So I went to the doctors. I had a theory based on good ole WebMd and every other google health search I did that my thyroid was possibly to blame. Either that or PCOS, because everyone around me was convinced my ovaries were the culprits. 

After blood work and a visit to the lady doctor who said she couldn't find my cervix (I didn't know cervixes could disappear, but I'm not a doctor), and a month and a half wait, I finally got my answer. 

I have hypothyroidism. My thyroid is a little slow, throwing everything out of whack. 

Now I have to take a hormone supplement. This is only day one, so I don't know how effective it is yet, but I have high hopes. And, I have to go back to a different lady doctor in order to hopefully find my cervix (my regular doctor assured me that it cannot, in fact, disappear). 

As I am now getting my health in order, I think it's time to get everything else back in order as well. Starting with this blog. I will be sharing a lot of my writing and some of my personal life, too, as I start this journey back to feeling like a normal functioning human being. 

Anybody else out there with thyroid problems? Any tips or tricks? What should I be looking forward to if these hormones work?