How to describe my life right now: stressed, in a constant
state of anticipation, vacillating between ‘Everything’s going to be okay’ and
‘Holy sh*t, what are we going to do?’
The hub’s work contract is up in two weeks and despite
everyone’s assurance that something will get worked out, nothing seems to be
even remotely decided except for the roundabout expiration date of his current
contract. It glows on the calendar, mocking me.
It’s tense around here. I try to keep the support alive, but
then I have to pay a bill or something on a car breaks and I am reminded of how much money we don’t have and how much worse that’s going get if this
doesn’t pan out.
Not that we won’t get on our feet either way, but I’ve done
the unemployment game before. That game sucks.
So when my parents offered to pay for us to go camping with
them this weekend, we jumped on board. We may have stayed at a federal
campground with no electricity, showers, or any signs of modern
society—the outhouses were rsurprisingly clean—but it was the most
relaxing weekend I’ve had in a very long time.
I’m back now, but I’d rather not be.
On Monday the official 2 week mark drove in carrying
truckloads of stress behind it. I spent two hours that night combing job
boards, another hour trying to go through bills to see where we can trim more
fat, and a couple more hours coming up with the statistics on how long we could
live off our available credit.
Give me mosquito bite covered legs and dirt seasoned food
over this uncertainty any day.
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