Saturday, November 3, 2012

I wasn't prepared for this

     Two years ago I met the most beautiful dog I've ever seen. She had no eyes, was about twenty pounds under weight and so scared that she would growl at every sound.

     Her name was Mia, a Great Dane rescue we were just supposed to be watching for two weeks. I spent three days nursing this sweetheart. Through all the growls, late night sips of water through a medicine dropper, and bribery via peanut butter sandwiches, I finally earned her trust.

     I tried to keep myself guarded, knowing our time together was short, but all her teeth chattering, excited pounces and endless hours of snuggles shattered my resistance quickly.

     Luckily, her new owners never came back. I nursed her to health and we became inseparable. She follows me everywhere; if I leave, she won't eat until I return, and when I get home, her happy jumpy face, with flirting ears and chattering teeth, has always been there to greet me.

     Until now. Now she sits in intensive care. A routine spay turned into possible heart disease and we don't know if she's going to make it.

     And I'm angry. I'm angry at the vets for not noticing her heart before they sent her home this morning. I'm angry at myself for not recognizing the serious problem until tonight. I'm angry that I spent too much time on homework when I should have been snuggling with my baby. I'm angry that I don't know how I'm paying for all this treatment. I'm angry at God for putting this in my path; he may know that I can handle this, but I don't think I can. And I'm really scared. Scared that the last image i'll have of her is her hooked up to all this machinery and whining to go home with me. I'm scared that she won't improve and I won't be able to pay for anything more. I'm scared that I failed her as an owner and mom.

Please pray for my baby girl's recovery. I honestly don't know what I'm doing right now. I miss her like crazy and am hoping against everything that she'll pull through and be home with us soon.


  1. I got teary eyed reading this. I hope that she gets better soon. Dogs truly are man's best friend, I wouldn't know what to do without mine.

    On another note, I gave you the Liebster award because I love your blog. To read more about it go to my newest post at

  2. I am so sorry to hear this! This post is so sad to read! Your dog looks beautiful, I have an extra soft spot for animals with disabilities as I find other characteristics of theirs are exaggerated. My friend has a blind cat called Bumper (Because she bumps into things.) and she always snuggles to know that she's safe, she's also about 19 now which feels incredible for a cat's lifespan.

    I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. I have felt very let down by health care services in non vet related senses in terms of not really caring or bothering to check for problems properly, it's something I never understand with people, how it can be treated as a shift, to just not really worry much about lives and just want to get home. I got discharged from GPs multiple times telling me I just needed to eat more veg when it turned out I actually had IBD and was hospitalised a year later because my digestive system was so messed up and I lost over three and a half stone. Even now I don't think they care to do anything, I still am waiting for somebody to offer me a form of treatment.

    I know with vets it's a bit different, but I still wish these things could be caught earlier in both respects. I'm praying for your dog tonight, I am wishing all the best! You don't deserve to go through this.

    You sound like a wonderful dog owner. Stay strong. xx

  3. Saying prayers for your baby! I know how hard this can be because they are family.