This Christmas

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I didn't want to blog about the Connecticut shooting. Not because I don't think it is important, but because I don't feel like whatever I can say about it is adequate to fully describe how I processed what happened, or how I feel about the victims and survivors. But then I felt like I couldn't ignore it, either. 

So, all I will say is that I appreciate this Christmas so much more. Since Friday, I have been so much more aware about what is going on around me because I've felt like I needed to be outside myself for once. The moment I read about the shooting, I lost pretty much all faith I ever had in humanity. I thought: well this is it, as low as one can go. I was incredibly angry and sad; I actually shed some tears, and for those that know me, this is huge. For a girl, I usually remain incredibly dry eyed for most tear inducing things. So to combat the darkness, I've been searching for things to restore my faith in humanity. And praying a lot. There's the story about the teacher hiding her kids and losing her life to protect those kids, just one of the many staff heros. A story about a military retiree who recently passed but during his tour of duty saved some thirty people by risking his life to fly in for the wounded; and the stories from my back yard like my community banding together to give an honest working man back his hotdog cart when careless protesters ripped it apart. 

I am also concentrating on the drawing of my mom's favorite flowers that I am doing for her Christmas present and my dad's knitted hat because even though they don't have department store tags, I am putting my time and energy in them and spending my break with them in that way since I can't go home yet. 

And I am thinking about those children and teachers who should have been here this Christmas, but instead will be spending it in our thoughts. 

I hope this event will finally bring about the change we need to make these careless shootings stop. And I just want to say for the record, because a lot of people talk about how the killers are the ones who always get remembered, that I don't remember any of the shooters names from any of the tragedies. I remember the victims and the amazing acts of bravery and courage that come out of such disasters. I also think there needs to be an overhall on our mental health system. I have worked in the mental health field for four years and I have seen a lot of people who really needed help fall through the cracks because it's too taboo to talk about behavioral or mental illness. We don't have enough educated professionals and not enough studies are being done to adequately treat those suffering. If we could open up the discussion about mental illness instead of treating them like dirty secrets, maybe we could start to see a change. 

Happy Holidays, everyone. 

A Late Thanksgiving

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It's finals time for me. A fastly approaching ending to the worst semester ever. Thanksgiving was a nice reprieve from the academic stress, but sometimes family stress can be worse. Luckily, I bypassed that for the most part.

My family time is relatively relaxing, aside from being pulled in a million directions in order to see everyone, my parents, the large family, and then my little old granny. Usually that travel is compounded by the added stress of seeing Jay's family. That side is usually not so fun. After nine years, I still don't exactly mesh with the larger part of his extended family. I chalk it up to different backgrounds. Thankfully, they didn't hold a Thanksgiving dinner this year and the arguments were limited to one bad text argument between Jay and his brother where I was once again blamed for their relationship issues even though I've only spoken to the man twice in my entire life…I am apparently the social pariah. That's cool, not a huge fan of you either!

All that aside, I am thankful for the family I did see and the time I got to spend at home. 

And I am more than thankful that I only have ONE MORE WEEK left of classes. No seminar paper, poetry portfolio, probably the worst Holocaust papers I've ever written due to possibly the worst TA on earth, nor French final will put a damper on that excitement. 

Until then, I hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas season. Despite my lack of resources to purchase any gifts, I plan on having an amazing Christmas with my family, anyways. We may not have gifts, but I have Mia and the rest of the family in tact. The exchange was worth it.  

To Grad or Not to Grad?????

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It's that time of my academic career. That time when I should be filling out applications for grad school, bundling my best writing, and trying to sell myself via a well worded essay. 

None of that is happening right now. After ten weeks of classes that I have just dreaded, I've decided I need a break. Not that my classes haven't been interesting. I'm taking a comic currents in poetry class, Holocaust lit class, and a medieval lit class. Each class is great in its own right, I feel like i'm learning a lot and definitely enjoying the reading (a little less on the medieval lit), but my assignments have been lack luster. My papers are boring and uninspired. My weekly responses are just sufficient enough to get by and my contributions during class are few and far between. 

Bottom line, I am sick of school. I'm sick of homework, quizzes, exams, French class, dear Lord, do I hate French class. 

I had a plan four years ago: bust ass at every level of undergrad and then shoot on through grad school. But, I'm burnt out. 

After June, when I graduate, I am now taking a year off. Hell, maybe two. I'm not sure yet. I'm going to attempt to get a job. I am going to write my heart out. Write the stuff I actually want to write. I'm going to read the books that I actually WANT to read. I'm going to enjoy my weekends and free time after work and actually explore this new city we've been in for the past year that I've seen barely any of. 

Or maybe I'll just suck it up and finish once and for all. What am I going to do with a Bachelor in English anyways?

Signed~ Stressed and Undecided

A Visit to the Dog Cardiologist

Look at that happy face!

Tuesday morning, I had an appointment with Mia's new cardiologist. I had both been dreading and anxiously awaiting seeing them since the ER vet had first mentioned it Saturday morning. That doctor was convinced that Mia was suffering from Dilated Cardiomyopathy (DCM), which gave Mia a death sentence spanning anywhere from two months to two years. 

So naturally, I was a bit over emotional. Jay couldn't come with me because no matter what kind of nightmare is happening in our world, the real world keeps on going and he had to work. I was all alone, unsure if my dog was living or dying, and I just wanted the whole thing to be over with so I could finally know.

I started crying as soon as the vet tech put a stethoscope to Mia's heart. I sat there for the whole hour long appointment with my kleenex as Mia was poked and prodded by various machines checking her heart. 

Good news: she doesn't have Dilated Cardiomyopathy (DCM). Yet. Her heart is a normal size, blood is flowing in and out the way it should, ventricles are doing their jobs, BUT her heart isn't pumping with as much force as it should be. We've been down graded from DCM, to myocardial failure. Which, as horrible as that name sounds, is okay for right now. As long as the pills she's on keep working, she'll be fine. 

It's when they stop, I'll have to worry. 

So after $2400 in vet bills, a new $100 monthly bill for her pills, we finally know what's wrong and we're dealing with it. 

All our money for Christmas is gone and half our rent went to the vet, but I have my Mia. The rest will work out. 

I had to share this picture of my other four-legged child. She was not amused, but I laughed endlessly. 

Finally Home

Mia  (background) is home now, finally. The first thing we did upon her arrival was take a long snuggle nap. I haven't slept much since she's been gone, and I feel like I need to soak up as much love as possible. While I'm finally eating again, she has not. We're working on that. 

After doing the run around after we picked her up from puppy ER, I finally got the referral I needed to see the cardiologist. She goes in tomorrow which means another couple classes missed for me, but there was no way I was waiting until the 28th to have her seen. 

She seems better though. She hasn't done much except sleep, but she's finally walking on her back leg normally, so healing there.

Now we're just praying that this heart issue is just a complication from surgery and not heart disease like the ER doctor suspects. She's too young and been through too much to go out like that, so I'm hoping and praying every ten seconds that this is treatable. 

Now back to snuggles. Happy Monday! Keep Mia in your thoughts. 

Liebster Award

I am beyond grateful to have received the Liebster Award by SarahBell at Sarah Being SarahBell. Liebster is a German word which means dearest . This award is for new bloggers who have less than 200 followers and helps give them recognition and support. It's also a greaty way to let someone know how much you love their blog!

Thank you SarahBell

When you receive the award, you post 11 random things about yourself, answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you, nominate 11 blogs of your own, and post 11 questions for them to respond to.

11 Random Facts about Me:

1. If I don't have a bottle of water and a piece of gum on me at all times I will go into a mental breakdown. Seriously, one time I had to sit through a test with no water, it was a disaster. I've got some anxiety issues; they're good fun.

2. I love literary and finger tattoos. That doesn't mean I have them. No, I just think they are awesome. If you've been affected by a book or line enough to make it a permanent part of you, you are my kind 

of peoples. 

3. I fictionalize almost every conversation I have in real life. It must be the writer in me, but immediately after I'm through talking to someone, I either imagine how that could have gone better, or turn it into some epic piece of fiction (well, epic to me). 

4. I can't see a man cry, or even get choked up for that matter, without crying, too. I think it's the whole  idea that men are supposed to be these tough men that aren't moved by anything, so when they do cry, my body obviously thinks it's serious enough that I need to cry to. 

5. Speaking of crying, I cry whenever I laugh. It doesn't matter if it's just a chuckle or a belly roll laugh, I will cry. Apparently this is because some nerve is too connected to my cheeks or something and when ever I laugh, it triggers the tears. I also cry while yawning or making any kind of face really. It's pathetic, but i've learned to deal. 

6. I name all the wild animals around my house. There's Petey the Possum, JarJar the Raccoon (because he had a peanut-butter jug stuck on his head), Hazel the really fat Squirrel…I could go on. I'm not scary crazy, I swear. 

7. I hate all forms of alcohol. I have this phobia about throwing up, so really anything that can have that effect, I steer clear of. I've only been drunk once, and that experience was enough for me. 

8. I quit smoking 5 months ago. I smoked for 10 years and I'm only 25. It was hard core, but I did it. 

9. I can only read books in one sitting. I hate having to stop in the middle of a book so I usually dedicate whole days to reading. And once I am reading, GOOD LUCK getting my attention. 

10. I don't care what my future looks like as long as I am being creative. Nothing scares me more than the thought of one day sitting in a cubicle to make a living. Ideally I want to be a damn good writer but really any form of artistic expression will make me happy. 

11. My pets are my family. I'm struggling with the health issues of Mia right now. I really hate that I might lose her soon and how much this is costing me, but whether I only have her another week or another 4 years, whatever time I get will be precious to me. 

11 Questions from SarahBell: 

1. What is your one big regret in your life you wish you could change?

This is a hard one. I don't think I really regret anything. As cliché as this is going to sound, I really did learn something from every experience. If I had to pick, I wish I would have spent more time with my great grandpa before he died. It was my first experience with death, and I didn't know how final that truly was until after. 

2. Who was your favorite teacher, and how did they affect you?

Mr. Smith, my creative writing teacher. He was the most supportive, inspiring and truly caring teacher I have ever had. He still influences me today and reminds me to keep striving towards my goals. 

3. How did you meet your significant other? (cute story time) 

I was driving down the road with my friends on labor day weekend of 2003 and we saw him and a bunch of his friends in his friend's garage and decided to stop. The rest is history (I do not recommend this form of meeting. I was only lucky chick. It could have ended vastly differently.)

4. What do you do for a living and are you happy with it?

Currently, I'm a student/writer. Happy with the writing part, sick of the student part. I'm ready to do the career thing. Two more semesters…Two more. 

5. If you could be granted one wish, what would it be?

Honestly, that this heart problem with Mia is just a short lived side affect from surgery and not something that will kill her. 

6. What is something on your bucket list you are itching to cross off?

Get a novel published. It doesn't have to be successful. I just want to see my real tangible cover and pages novel in a bookstore.

7. What made you start a blog?

I was a huge fan of blog reading. I originally wanted this to be a fiction writing blog, but then I chickened out on sharing that with the world. Now, it's  an outlet to express what I'm feeling from day to day and a way to meet people. One of these days, I'll grow a pair and share some fiction. 

8. What is the one thing you wish you could do?

My current mind frame is probably not best for some of these questions right now, but I wish I could heal all ailments. Not just for my baby, but for everyone. Life is best lived healthy! 

9. What is a quote that inspires you?

I really love this Steve Jobs quote: "Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown you own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." I am a very self-conscious person, and I have to remind myself that it's better to accept myself than be ashamed of what other people might think of me. Pretending for the sake of others is wasting my time as the quote says. Love is within and works its way out. Holy corny, i've hit the mother load! 

10. If you could witness any event, past, present, or future, what would it be?

I'd want to be a fly on the wall for the meetings of the Algonquin Round Table.  I think it'd be hilarious. 

11. If you could stay a certain age forever, what would it be?

I definitely don't want to live forever, but if I could stay looking and feeling 20 until I hit maybe 85 years on earth and then bite it, that'd be cool. ;)

My nominees: 

Nikki at Chibi-Chic

Annie at Explanniefyfed

Asha at The Dansha Diaries

Ali at Our Happily Ever After

Whitney at Writing on a Whim

Summer-Claire at Summer Dreams

Shannon at A Kindle in Hong Kong

(So that's only seven and a lot of you I hardly comment on. Mainly because I don't have the time to read and comment on blogs, but I still read them!)

My questions: 

1. What book changed your life and how?

2. If you could visit any place in any time, real or fiction, where and why? 

3. What inspires you?

4. What was your best date?

5. What was your worst date? (I never got to date; I will live vicariously through all of you). 

6. How did you find your passion? 

7. What is one item you could never part with? 

8. What's your best recipe? (I may steal some and try them. :))

9. What is your oddest habit?

10. What is your favorite thing about yourself?

11. What is your worst pet peeve?  

I wasn't prepared for this

     Two years ago I met the most beautiful dog I've ever seen. She had no eyes, was about twenty pounds under weight and so scared that she would growl at every sound.

     Her name was Mia, a Great Dane rescue we were just supposed to be watching for two weeks. I spent three days nursing this sweetheart. Through all the growls, late night sips of water through a medicine dropper, and bribery via peanut butter sandwiches, I finally earned her trust.

     I tried to keep myself guarded, knowing our time together was short, but all her teeth chattering, excited pounces and endless hours of snuggles shattered my resistance quickly.

     Luckily, her new owners never came back. I nursed her to health and we became inseparable. She follows me everywhere; if I leave, she won't eat until I return, and when I get home, her happy jumpy face, with flirting ears and chattering teeth, has always been there to greet me.

     Until now. Now she sits in intensive care. A routine spay turned into possible heart disease and we don't know if she's going to make it.

     And I'm angry. I'm angry at the vets for not noticing her heart before they sent her home this morning. I'm angry at myself for not recognizing the serious problem until tonight. I'm angry that I spent too much time on homework when I should have been snuggling with my baby. I'm angry that I don't know how I'm paying for all this treatment. I'm angry at God for putting this in my path; he may know that I can handle this, but I don't think I can. And I'm really scared. Scared that the last image i'll have of her is her hooked up to all this machinery and whining to go home with me. I'm scared that she won't improve and I won't be able to pay for anything more. I'm scared that I failed her as an owner and mom.

Please pray for my baby girl's recovery. I honestly don't know what I'm doing right now. I miss her like crazy and am hoping against everything that she'll pull through and be home with us soon.

Crafty Sunday

I actually had all my homework done on Friday. Which meant for the first time since school started, I had nothing to do on a weekend. 

It was nice…for about two seconds, and then I was bored. So, I decided to do some Pinspired crafts. 

I wanted to try my hand at wreath making. We have a tree in the backyard that is shedding its leaves like crazy so I had more than enough supplies for this first project: a leaf wreath. Coming from someone who isn't exactly an expert crafter, I was proud of the end results. 

Original

Mine :)

                     

All I used was some floral wire tripled up, a crap ton of leaves, and some ribbon, et voilà!

Next, I had a surplus of toilet paper tubes since I like making things with them, and I decided to make a Halloween wreath inspired by this: 

Source

This was a little more involved but short and sweet as well. 

Starting with toilet paper tubes, measuring tape, a pencil and some scissors, I cut the tubes in half inch wide rings. 

Then, after I cut enough for my needs, I painted them. I recommend spray paint to save time, but sadly I had none and had to paint each individually. It was time consuming, but it staved off boredom. 

 Once dry, assemble your circle, bust out the hot glue gun and put that together. Then I took my orange tubes and cut them in half to make the curly bits, before glueing them wherever. Using the left over curly bits, I made the "Happy Halloween" for the middle.

Crappy lighting, sorry!

The original post used thicker cardboard tubing, which is why their's is more substantial, but mine was relatively free, so I dig it, amateur looking and all. 

Follow me on Pinterest: Nikki0510!

Fill in the Blank Friday

My first link-up!

My favorite flower is a tie between Bleeding Hearts and Orchids. I love the bold colors of orchids; I had a blue orchid for a while. I love bleeding hearts because they have a very bold look, plus they're shaped like a heart. :)

You should never talk about politics. Mainly because I don't know enough about the election to really contribute an educated opinion (working on it, so I can make a good vote though). 

My favorite discovery as of late is Marshals. They have super cute home decorations for really cheap. I bought a table cloth, art for my wall, and a glass centerpiece for $30. Can we say score?!

This fall you will probably find me wearing my knitted beret. I love a cute knitted cap and it makes hair styling easier while also keep my ears warm. Double win! 

I wish I were  done with school already. Seriously, it's been three very long years and this last home stretch seems to be the hardest part. 

My favorite TV show currently is Doctor Who. I discovered this show some time last year and watched all six seasons within two months. I got way too attached to the Pond's and I am still not quite over their departure.  

This weekend I want to take a lot of pictures, attempt to make my first apple pie, and hopefully have a really nice visit home full of family and friends. 

Confessions of a Germaphobe

No, I don't care that I am holding you up while I adjust my coat sleeves to cover my hand to open the door. Really, I'm not touching it. The building could be on fire, and I would still find a way to not touch it. 

Yes, I realize I'm giving a dirty look when someone sneezes or coughs near me…I'm sorry. Really, I'm just holding my breath. Yeah, it could just be allergies or some tickle, but I take NO chances. 

Yes, I take an unusually long time to take a pee in the bathroom. Whether toilet papering or hovering, that shit takes talent and time not to touch the seat. 

Yes, I do take the paper towel I used to dry my hands in the bathroom with me until I reach my final destination. There are a lot of door handles from point A to point B and I'm not touching any of them.

Yes, I do wash my hands before and after every class. I have no idea who sat in my seat last and what they did in that seat while they were there. 

Yes I will still visit your house if you're getting over a cold, but don't be surprised if I enter in a cloud of disinfectant spray and then spray every area before I sit in it. I don't want that shit. 

Yes, I know you think I'm weird when I pull from the middle of piles. I'm not touching the top. I'm just not. 

No, you are not allowed to touch my food or drink at any point in the meal eating process. I don't care if we've known each other for days or years, the moment your finger touches anything that potentially goes near my mouth, it's not happening.

No, I will not eat something if I can't see the expiration date or know when it was opened. 

No, I will not eat leftovers that have sat in the fridge for more than two days

No, I will not drink the milk even if it smells good after the date. That may be wasteful, but I've made that mistake before…NOT FUN

How did I turn into a neurotic germ freak???? Easy

1. SOOO many people don't wash their hands in the bathroom. SERIOUSLY DISGUSTING

2. I have been food poisoned one too many times and would rather not relive those moments

3. I see people sneeze into their hands and then not wash them

4. I go to college where sickness spreads like wildfires in drought season

5. I enjoy not being sick and everything above may give me dirty looks, but I guarantee you'll be coughing before me. 

This list stemmed from a friend making fun of my door opening process. If you have any weird germ quirks, leave a comment. I would love to know some fellow germ-freaks! ;)

A Date with My Future Hubby and Fall

It has not been an easy couple of weeks. Every week has been a cycle of sleep, school, homework, eat at some point, sleep. Jay and I have had no time to just be together. 

I think we've both been frustrated with the lack of us time. So this weekend, we said enough is enough. We both cleared our schedules for Saturday, and went on what I am referring to as a Fall Date. Anything and everything Fall was done yesterday. 

Early in the morning, we got up and made a delicious breakfast together. Eggs, toast, bacon…the whole nine yards. Something we haven't been able to do in a while. 

Then, since the trees are turning at an unbelievably fast rate, we decided to head to our local nature reserve. It was gorgeous, all the colors and smells. We spent an hour walking through the various paths (damn meter parking puts a time limit on everything). It wasn't too busy, only a few runners and a couple getting what I think were engagement photos taken. I did a little 'aww' at that and squeezed Jay's hand. We reminisced about our own engagement and time together.

Isn't this cute!

I didn't take too many pictures,
wanted to enjoy the moment. 

After words, we figured 'tis the season' and went to the local cider mill for some apple flavored goodness. I went a little crazy…apple donuts, hot cider, cold cider, organic syrup, honey, and apple butter. Seriously love fall. 

Then, I have been really itching to carve some pumpkins so we picked some up on the way home before making a pit stop to the local video store to rent some kid friendly Halloween movies. Disappointingly, they didn't have too many, but since I wanted to stick with the cartoon theme, we picked up "Coraline" and "The Lorax."

It was dinner time by the time we got home, so we set to making some dinner before popping in the movies and carving our pumpkins.

Mine is on the left and Jay's on the right. 

It was the best day. We finally got a chance to laugh, talk and just be together again. It's days like these that break up the monotony that schedules and repetitiveness can bring to any long standing relationship that remind you just why you're doing this whole love thing, and why we really work together. 

We've decided, to keep our sanity and our connection, that we will now reserve every Saturday for date day, no matter what. No amount of school or work pressure is worth the loss in contact we've had recently. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

A Poem or Two

Source

Since I am currently taking three upper level lit classes this semester (I just had to be an English major) finding the time to plan and create posts with anything akin to substance has been hard.

To make up for my lack of blogging skills at the moment, I have decided to put up a few poems I wrote for the poetry class I am taking.

I am not a poetic genius. This isn't even a craft course, so please don't expect genius. That said, hopefully they make you chuckle, considering it's a class about comedic currents in poetry.

The first one is my Whitman imitation poem:

Life! A portable time line I can scroll through!

Every stage categorized, photographed...marked with a
     notification, a time stamp shared!

Every illness and cure a click away, my doctor a mouse, guiding me
     through harmless hangnail to full finger amputation!

Images of my organized, three story, gothic, 4 bedroom, full library,
     100 acre, middle of nature with a fully functioning green house 
     so I can finally say I am self sufficient home... easier pinned 
     to a board than somewhere solid!

Images of my family with whom I share blood but not common
     memory, e-cards rather than real cards...virtual hugs better 
     than none!

What a comfort to see my friend list greater than 100, that increase
     of 'Happy Birthdays' posted to my virtual wall—popularity 
     finally measured in numbers!

What a joy to know I leave my own footprint in the sands of the
     wireless—it'll last much longer than the beach anyway!

                                                                                  N.L.

And this one is what happens when I am instructed to write a bad poem: 

“Ode to a Cricket”

Creatures of the night

        With legs like string and bow

You sprinkle my yard

        Like chocolate chips on a cookie

A movable symphony

        Free music for four-legged insomniacs

Sometimes I am lucky

        A bedtime solo just for me

And we play a game of tag

        So I can get a closer look

Night's lonely singer

        With my shoe

                I squish

                                   N.L.

So these are the types of things this lovely mind is creating this semester. Thoughts? Opinions? Any one want to write an awesomely bad poem and share it with me???

Holding Hands

Source

        A few years ago, I joined my college's honor society and shortly after my induction, we participated in our town's “Relay for Life” walk. I was still relatively new to the group and hadn't had a chance to make any friends, so I brought Jay along as a buffer for any social awkwardness.

     We arrived early that cold morning and walked up to register. After being pointed in the direction we needed to go, Jeremy instinctively grabbed my hand as we weaved through the walking path in search of my group's booth.

     I spotted my old teacher first; he was the advisor of our honor society and the only one I actually knew at the time. We walked up and said our hellos, me introducing Jay as my teacher shook the hand he wasn't holding.

     It was then that he noticed our clasped hands. He got that look...that look most people get when they spot such an innocent display of affection. He got the attention of another older member of the group and they started conspiratorially commenting: 'young love, the honey moon phase, puppy love' with fluttered eyelashes and exaggerated gestures.

     Blushing, I told them of our then 6 year relationship, how we were well past the honeymoon stage. My teacher reacted with a pleasantly surprised smile, commenting on how he and his wife hadn't held hands in years, his joking partner commenting the same. I just shrugged my shoulders, but I was a little saddened by that.

     When does that happen? At what point do those little pieces of intimacy just stop?Relationships don't fails due to lack of hand holding, but it's still a nice moment to share. I remember a time when holding someone's hands was enough to create butterflies and blushes and sweaty palms.

     Even now at nine years, Jay and I still holds hands, still kiss before coming and going, still say I love you—with feeling—multiple times a day. By no means do the excited jitters that once accompanied such actions still happen all the time, but Jay's hand in mine still provides a connection I cherish as our relationship continues to grow. Those little things are a sense of comfort for me. If I am heading towards a situation I'm unsure of, I can grab his hand and a sense of calm replaces all anxiety. The simple touch letting me know that he's there, and he'll be right there the entire time.

     I'm not saying that Jay and I have a perfect relationship because we still hold hands. Our relationship is far from it and no amount of hand holding is going to solve all our issues. But, what I'm trying to say is don't take those little comforts for granted. Those things are important.

     Go home tonight, or tomorrow, or right now, and grab your partner's hand and just remember what it was like that first time, when your relationship was new and such a simple gesture told you all you needed to know in that moment. And then take comfort in the fact that that hand is there when ever you need something to hold on to.

     Then take that comfort often.

Happy Blog Resurrection Day

Much like myself, this blog is back from the dead. Somewhere around the time of my last post I just dropped off the interverse. My twitter stopped (@Nikki_Writ if interested-also back from the dead), not that that ever really got going; this blog was forgotten; and Facebook, the page I used to check and update religiously, was filled with the sounds of crickets.

Chalk it up to school stress, the crushing blow I was delivered from said school, or the fact that my weight loss was stalled somewhere between giving up and fighting to lose one more pound. Either way, the creative well had dried up quicker than my backyard in this drought filled summer.

So, I decided to scrap everything and start over. Hopefully, round two of blogging will be much more successful.

To get things started: what have I been up to these past seven months?? Not a whole lot. I survived my first year at big university and am beyond excited that I am only three semesters a way from rocking a Bachelor degree.

I discovered Instagram and went a little crazy taking pictures. If you have the time or inclination, please check it out: http://web.stagram.com/n/eternalsun/. If you are actually interested in one of my prints, I do have an instacanv.as gallery, but I think the prices are outrageous and will make and sell them to any interested party for less than the price they have advertised.

I also went camping as a final hoorah to the summer about a month ago. While it was a really nice way to end the summer, it was slightly dampered by a run-in I had with a patch of poison ivy. A month later and my legs still look like a red speckled mess, but scars don't itch!

I read a lot. Two books I think all can benefit from are Gillian Flynn's “Gone Girl” and Sol Smith's “Sight.” Im working on full book reviews for the future.

In other news, I would really like to revamp the look of my blog. If anyone is good at html, header creation, or general design layouts and feels like taking on a charity case, please HELP ME!! ;)

I have some ideas about what I want, but no idea how to implement them.